Barack Obama Pistol Whipped me

How's it going everybody?

The other day I had the fine fortune of being offered an exclusive (interview) with Barack Obama. The interview turned contentious after a very pointed question I posed about Taxes, and although the transcript of the interview is now sealed as part of my lawsuit going forward against Mr. Obama, I might offer a glimse into the 911 SMS conversation I had with a 911 dispatcher.

February 08, 2008
07:04:38
xxx-315-0018

"Hiya"



February 08, 2008
07:07:19
911 dispatch

"whatup?"



February 08, 2008
07:08:32
xxx-315-0018

"Barack Obama pistol whipped me."




February 08, 2008
07:15:52
911 dispatch

"hows that?"




February 08, 2008
07:16:39
xxx-315-0018

"Have you heard of the democratic candidate for president, Barack Obama?"





February 08, 2008
07:25:22
911 dispatch

"sure"




February 08, 2008
07:27:15
xxx-315-0018

"He hit me right in the face with a gun"





February 08, 2008
07:32:19
911 dispatch

"ok"





February 08, 2008
07:34:44
xxx-315-0018

"Which seems like some sort of assault to me"





February 08, 2008
07:48:12
911 dispatch

"yeah"





February 08, 2008
07:49:31
xxx-315-0018

"at any rate, do you want to take a statement"





February 08, 2008
08:07:17
911 dispatch

"what? yeah text it here"





February 08, 2008
08:10:55
xxx-315-0018

"o.k. i was interviewing Barack Obama aboard Dem Force 1. then Bow Wow came aboard for a meet and greet cause he's endorsing Obama. hold on i'm getting a call"





February 08, 2008
08:14:19
911 dispatch

"whatever"





February 08, 2008
08:19:43
xxx-315-0018

"sorry, that was my fifee."





February 08, 2008
08:19:57
xxx-315-0018

"oops, i mean wife"





February 08, 2008
08:20:37
911 dispatch

"what did she want?"





February 08, 2008
08:22:25
xxx-315-0018

"at any rate, Bow Wow must have said something that reallly peeved off Obama nad he opened fire. meanwhile, Master P. cowered under a desk like a little bitch."





February 08, 2008
08:29:07
911 dispatch

"wow"





February 08, 2008
08:32:11
xxx-315-0018

"yeah. i was able to calm Barack Obama down by saying a few calming words and a glass of warm water, but not before he pistol whupped me really really hard."





February 08, 2008
08:55:38
911 dispatch

"well, it certainly sounds like some crimes were committed, for sure"





February 08, 2008
08:59:02
xxx-315-0018

"oh, also, I forgot, RIP Bow Wow. 1997-2008"





February 08, 2008
09:20:19
911 dispatch

"idk"





February 08, 2008
09:22:35
xxx-315-0018

"well now you dk"





February 08, 2008
09:25:14
911 dispatch

"does that mean that there isn't going to be a sequel to Fast and the Furious: Toykeo Drift?"





February 08, 2008
09:37:45
xxx-315-0018

"wow, I didn't know Bow Wow was in that?"





February 08, 2008
09:45:07
911 dispatch

"yep"





February 08, 2008
09:46:38
xxx-315-0018

"yeah there's going to be a sequel, but its going to star Aaron Carter. its going to be called Fast and the Furious: Omaha Carsand trucks"





February 08, 2008
09:48:20
911 dispatch

"that sounds kind of stupid, but i'll probably see it."





February 08, 2008
09:50:23
xxx-315-0018

"you know your going to see it"





February 08, 2008
10:45:48
911 dispatch

"o.k., so is that it?"





February 08, 2008
10:48:02
xxx-315-0018

"yeah i guess"





February 08, 2008
10:50:27
911 dispatch

"is there anything else i can help you with?"





February 08, 2008
10:55:44
xxx-315-0018

"no, just the thing i just told you about"





February 08, 2008
11:07:15
911 dispatch

"thankss for texging SMS 911, have a good day"